The Pain of The Past
by Huntress-X
Summary: One year after OZT Jubilee sudenlly gets very sick
1. Default Chapter

**The Pain of The Past**

**By: Huntress X**

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Yeah, yeah I don't own and I never have don't sue. Okay so like Jubilee never went of to Gen X and this is a little different universe. And bad spelling warning sorry guys)

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If someone knew what it was like to have a bad life it was Jubilation Lee, she knew what it was like to be hungry and cold, to not have a roof over your head and to be all alone to be a street kid without a future just hoping to survive another day. But that wasent all, she also knew what it was like to be tortured, brutally tortured both physical and mentally and to lose people over and over again. She knew this never ending pain that was her life and she still smiled, she always smiled and why?

Well there was just nothing left to do she had already cried all the tears she could cry in a lifetime and she was just too tired to be depressed. Besides when everybody else at the mansion was depressed someone had to smile….right?

Someone needed to be happy and outgoing and that someone had to be her….right?

Yeah somebody need to be the strong one, yeah that's was why she wasent mad at Logan for going of to Kitty as soon as she screamed.

Because between her and Kitty she was the strong one, she had been through Bastion for heavens sake and she had pulled through but as soon as Kitty cat and Petey boy has a fight she falls apart.

He could go to Kitty all he wanted because she didn't need him….right?

No wrong, she did need him now more then ever and he wasent there he never was these days.

Someday´s she really didn't feel like she wanted to go on, those days her life felt like a living hell all the memories came back to her the murderer on her parents, the years on the streets, Bastion, the death of friends and the feeling of being ignored.

It wasent just Logan who had been ignored her, the whole team did, it was always Not now Jubilee or Later Jubilee or Go to your room Jubilee. The fact was that she didn't feel like living anymore, she new that was a horrible thing to feel, she had survived Magneto, Sinister, Bastion and so much more and now she wanted to end it herself.

She sat down on the floor right below her bed just looking into the dark, it felt like she had a lump in her stomach she hadent been able to eat a thing in days and it was not like she needed to eat anyway she had gain a little weight and she didn't wanna get fat, but in her mind she was already both fat and ugly somebody that nobody could like. She hadent been feeling all that well lately either throwing up, coughing and feeling dizzy but she guest that it was because she had been stressed, she sighted and felt like throwing up again.

She slowly got up and lay down on her bed closing her eye´s falling asleep into another night of nightmares.

The Next Morning.

Jubilee opened her eye´s feeling so hot like she was on fire, her whole body was covered in sweat and her throat felt sore and she couldn't speak, she could hardly breath. When she triad to sit up her body protested wildly and she fell down onto the floor. She couldn't move, she couldn't speak and God her head hurt! She started to cough, covering her mouth with her hand when she removed it she could see it was covered in blood. She laid on the floor for almost an hour before being able to move, her only thoughts was to get to the kitchen because she knew that the whole team would be there at this hour. She was grabbing all things she could to try and support herself as she went through the hallway and almost fell down the stairs, when she reached the kitchen doorway no one was looking her way, she triad to say something but nothing came out it felt like she was choking. She pushed herself with her last powers into the kitchen knocking over a vase as she fell down on the kitchen floor coughing blood wildly. She see through her blurry vision that everybody was rushing to her side and she felt how Logan tried to get her up.

"Help me" She rasped out in a tiny voice before everything went black.

3 Hours Later.

"Is she gonna be okay Hank?" Jubilee heard a voice ask.

"I don't know my friend I have never seen anything like this" She heard Hank answer, she slowly started to move and when she did a very sharp pain went trough her body and she screamed out.

"Darlin?" She heard Logan´s worried voice say. "Jubilee can ya hear me?" Jubilee opened her eye´s and looked strait into Logan´s and even thought the pain she slowly nodded her head yes. Oh God she needed something to drink her throat hurt like hell even worse then the rest of her body and as if Hank ha read her mind he came over to her with a cup with a bend-y straw in it. Jubilee couldn't remember the last time water had tasted so good.

"Oh Jubilee your awake!" Jean said as she entered the med-lab. "We have been so worried about you" She went over to the tiny girl's side stroking her raven black hair. Right after Jean had screamed out that she had woken up Scott, Bobby, Rouge, Remy, The Professor, Ororo, Kurt and Warren rushed in the room. Not that she had a chance to react as she felt like someone just had shot a spire of fire through her and she started to scream again as the cramps went through her and then they just stopped, She looked over at Hank and Logan.

"What's happening to me?" She asked as tears started to fall from her eye´s.

To be continued…..?


	2. 2

Part 2.

She was laying strapped onto a operation table in only an old throne t-shirt, she could hear how he came up closer and soon he was standing there looking down on her with an evil smile. Another man in a white coat came up beside him with a scalpel in his hand, he slowly lowered it down to the area right below her bellybutton and started to cut and she started to scream an almost inhuman scream.

Jubilee woke up her whole body shaking and the sweat running down her forehead. Her body was still sore the medication that Hank had given her hadn't helped much. Jubilee lay back again and sighted, she hated the dreams but she knew that she couldn't do anything about them, they would hunt her for he rest of her life because no matter how much you want to you can't change your past. O god it was hot she was burning up, water she got to have some water. She slowly sat up and tried to stand but the second her feet touched the floor she fell and hard to. She hadn't felt this kind of pain since her time with Bastion.

Jean! She mentally called out knowing that she wasn't able to scream, a few seconds later the red headed woman followed by Hank, Professor Xavier and Logan came rushing, helping her back into the bed.

"O god honey you're burning up" Jean said and turned to Hank. "Her fever should have gone down by know after all the medication she received"

"Water" Jubilee managed to say her throat being sore and dry.

"Water yes of coarse Logan can you please get some water?" Jean said and Logan did what she asked and got the water then he went over to Jubilee´s side helping her to drink because she was hardly able to move her arms. Okay water had never tasted that good before Jubilee thought and finished it all.

"Is that any better darlin?" Wolverine asked and took one of her small hands in his.

"Yeah" Jubilee rasped then she turned over to Jean, Hank and the Professor. "What is wrong with me?" She asked.

"To be honest Jubilation we do not know" Professor Xavier said. "I have never seen anything like this"

"Me nether" Hank said. "Not that fever, cramps or coughing blood are that unusual but all of them at their top at the same time and none of them responding to any kind medication" Hank paused. "Now that is unusual"

"O great" Jubilee said. "Just what I needed" as soon as she had finished her sentence another series of cramps hit her stomach; she grasped Logan´s hand harder and screamed.

"Hank get the shot!" Jean yelled and rushed over to Jubilee along with the Professor; Hank was almost right behind them with the shot.

"This should make it stop and make her sleep for at least seven hours" Hank said and injected the serum into Jubilee´s arm. But Jubilee´s body kept twisting and more cramps hit her.

"How long will it take?!" Logan yelled at Hank.

"It should work right away" Hank said not really knowing what to do.

"Well it´s not is it!" Logan said and looked down at Jubilee. "She´s hurting!"

"Please make it stop!!" Jubilee screamed out still holding on to Logan´s hand. "Please help me!" Jubilee´s mind didn't know if she was at home or if she was back as Bastion because of all the memories of the past pain that came over her.

"Leave me alone!" she pleaded. "Please don't hurt me, I´m just a kid" She said as the cramp slowly started to go away. Jubilee could feel the tears running down her cheeks; she looked up at Wolverine showing all the pain in her eye´s.

"Please make him go away" she said. "Don't let him hurt me Wolvie" she whispered.

"Who darlin?" Logan asked her, God all that pain in her eye´s it was killing him.

"Bastion" She answered. The three adults looked at each other and then back at Jubilee.

"Don't worry darlin he wont hurt ya, I promise" Wolverine said and gave her a kiss on her forehead. "No one will hurt ya" and that was the last thing Jubilee heard before drifting of to sleep.

3 Hours Later.

Jubilee woke up at the sound of two people arguing.

"You half to take a little more or we are going to drop it!"

"Me its you who doesn't help at all Bobby!"

"Oh shut up bird-boy" She could hear Bobby´s voice say to the other voice which Jubilee identified as Warren. She opened her eye´s and saw the two men carrying a TV into the room.

"What are you doing?" She asked them, Bobby then turned around not really thinking he let go of the TV and even though Warren was a strong guy he wasn't ready for that so the TV started to fall to the floor. Before she knew what she was doing Jubilee had sent out one of her paffs towards the falling TV, but this one was nothing like her normal once sure it looked like them but instead of blowing the TV up like it normally would have done, it went around it making the whole TV shine in different colors and it stopped falling it just hung there in mid air sparkling. Both Warren and Bobby looked over at Jubilee who had her arm out like she was holding the TV then she slowly lowered the TV down to the floor and just stared at it.

"We where just thinking that you maybe wanted to watch some TV" Bobby said, his eye´s like Warrens´s never leaving her.

"Yeah thanks" Jubilee answered her eye´s never leaving the TV.

To be continued…….

Please Review!!

But not if your just going to be mean……I cant take critic but just the other day I read a really evil review on a story here (not mine and I´m not going to say who's) but that's was just mean man.


	3. 3

Part. 3

"So like is anybody going to talk?" Jubilee asked and looked at Hank, Professor Xavier, Jean and Logan. "How could I do that?"

"Well Jubilation it seems that your psychical powers has start to work together with your plasma plasts" Professor Xavier said. "Making it possible for you to control them after they leave your hands" Jubilee looked down at her hands and let out a few sparkles.

"But I don't know how it just happened"

"My theory is that when you saw the TV fall you reacted on prime instinct and did what most people would have" Hank said as he looked over some papers. "You tried to catch it"

"Okay that sounds right…anyway" Jubilee said. "But why now?" She asked as she lay back down, her body still hurting like hell.

"It may very well have something to do with your condition, but we have no idea what has coast it get" Jean said and went over to Jubilee´s side. "You are not infected in any way and your test results shows that it is nothing wrong with you"

"So what I´m imagining this" Jubilee asked and looked at Jean.

"No your not, I have already thought about that but I don't think that this is created by your mind" Jean sighed.

"There´s gotta be something you can do!" Logan growled he was sitting on the side of Jubilee´s bed. "She´s burning up, she´s coughing blood and had horrible stomach cramps, your doctors what the hell is wrong with her!"

"Wolvie calm down they're trying" Jubilee said and sat up leaning into his arms; Logan put his arms around her and kissed the top of her head.

"Yeah well they are not trying hard enough" he told her and gave the other three adults a look that meant Get the hell out of here and they did.

"You're gonna be okay darlin, ye hear me" Logan said and held her tighter to him, he was not going to lose her not her too.

"Yeah I´m gonna be fine, I´m always fine" She whispered and closed her eye´s tight. But she wasn't fine not at all but Jubilation Lee wasn't the person who asked for help but maybe she should.

The Next Day.

Jubilee´s condition hadn't changed one bit it was the opposite she was getting worse, no one in the mansion had got much sleep that night. Jubilee´s screams had echoed through the hallways of the big X-mansion waking up every soul that had tried to sleep.

If it hadn't been the pain of the cramps that kept attacking her it was the horrible nightmares that made her relive her time at Bastion over and over again.

When the first rays of sunshine appeared Jubilee had given up the idea of trying to sleep. It was like she was hanging from a cliff and she could feel herself slip for every minute that past.

She looked around at the rest of the X-men that was all in the med-lab trying to help with whatever they could. Jubilee was getting sick at this, she didn't know if she had the power to go through what Bastion had done to her one more time, the first time was enough for a thousand lifetimes she didn't no she wouldn't go through this again.

And at the same time she was mad, not just at Bastion but at the X-men, they hadn't even tried to understand what she had been through they thought they knew but they didn't, they didn't and when they said that they had saved her?

Yeah right it had been her that had saved herself, all the anger and all the pain started to become overwhelming and they didn't even have any answers for her, she looked at the people in the room once more before she asked again feeling that she couldn't keep her feelings back anymore.

"What is wrong with me?" She said her throat thick from holding back the tears.

"Jubilee we have told you…." Professor Xavier begun.

"No! I want to know what the hell is happening!"

"Jubilation please" Jean said and reached for Jubilee but she pulled away, everybody turned to look at her but for the moment she didn't care.

"No! You don't get it!!" She screamed. "It´s like I´m there again everytime I feel that pain I´m back, It´s the same pain I felt when I was there, when it comes I´m back I can see him infront of me, I can hear him in my head because you see I remember every single word he said to me!!"

"Jubilee…" Logan began not really knowing what to say.

"You don't know what he did to me! You don't know what it was like; I had no control do you know how that feels?! I couldn't stop for him from coming; I couldn't stop him from entering my mind making me think you were dead! I saw you all die! He tortured me twenty-four hours a day for God knows how long. But do you know what really makes me mad?" She asked them waiting for some kind of response and they could only shake their head no.

"The fact that I lived through it, that I kept my mouth shut, I didn't tell him a fucking word about you guys and then I got out and then you say that you saved me" She paused for a second and sighed trying to calm down. "But you didn't, you found me I survived everything he did to me, I didn't speak and I got out and you found me, you didn't even know that I was gone and if you actually notes that I´m alive once it maybe hadn't happened" It went quiet for awhile.

"And you know what? A little thank you would have been nice" She looked around at all the people most of them looked down on their feet's or strait into the wall. "Can I be alone….please" She asked and to her surprise everybody starts to leave even Logan, she waited until she was all alone until she let the tears come. Because Jubilation Lee did not cry infront of people.

It had been over four hours now and no one had come back yet. It was not like she blamed them she had gone of pretty hard on them and she hadn't meant to.

But with all the pain all the bad memories she had just gotten so mad and it had felt good to scream out her feelings but she hadn't meant to hurt them, she loved them and she knew that it wasn't really their fault. Why did she have to go and yell? Why was she so stupid?!! She took up the glass of water that stood beside her at a small table and before she knew it she threw it across the room right into the wall, the glass went into a thousand little pieces and the water splashed all over the wall and some of Hank´s paperwork. But she didn't care, she put her hands over her face and mounded out load.

"Jubilee?" A voice asked she knew that voice very well; she looked up and over at the door were Logan stood.

"Hey" She said looking back into her hands. "It´s alright you can come in I wont bite" She said and looked up at him again. He went over to her bed and sat down beside her. "I´m sorry" She finally said since he didn't speak. "I didn't mean to yell, I just…..I just, I was in so much pain and I…" She sighed. "Sorry"

"Don't be" Logan said and looked up at her.

"But I am everybody was here to try and help me and what do I do I just yell and…" Logan put a finger on her lips.

"Don't" He said. "The reason anyone hasn't come back is because they think you're right, we don't know what happened to you and we don't expect you to tell us all of it" He begun. "But you can talk to us Darlin… you can talk to me" He told her and pulled her into a tight hug.

"I know" Jubilee said and snuggled closer to Logan. "I know Wolvie, just tell them I dint mean to yell, I love all of you" Wolverine kissed her on her temple and stroke the raven black hair.

"I know you do darlin and we are gonna find out what is happening to you" He gave her another kiss on the temple and looked down on her.

"Tell them that I won't bite their heads of if they decide to pop by" She said and smiled at him.

"I will now at list try to get some sleep"

"Will you stay here?"

"Anytime darlin, anytime" He told her.

**_So should I continue? Please Review._**


	4. 4

Part. 4

**_First of all I would like to thank everybody who has reviewed this story, Thank you it meant a lot to me)_**

**_And second of all The Bastion story in this fanfic may not be much like the one in the comic…well it will be like it maybe just a little different. Yeah and I was really stressed when I wroth this had a big test to study for so….just read. Thank ya all again! Oh and review! _**

When Jubilee woke up this time she was in her own bed not the hard little bed in the med-lab but in her bed, her big soft bed and there was a short rough and hairy pillow beside her that was snoring loudly.

She smiled up at him; sometimes he knew what she needed before she knew she needed it, like being somewhere that is safe to her like her room.

Jubilee sat up carefully so she wouldn't wake him and as she looked down on him sleeping she realist that she had slept without any nightmares this time and that was because he was there, but she also knew deep inside that she couldn't run from her past and its dreams.

She sighed and looked out her window and saw the rain poring down and a few seconds later big flashes begun to dance over the dark sky followed by a loud thunder, she watch the light show unable to look away.

She could almost feel all the energy in the flashes; she crawled up by the window so she could come closer.

She put up her hands against the window and saw that they had begun to glow and spark; she stood up and went out the room careful so she wouldn't wake up Logan.

She didn't know why she had left the safety of her bed and Logan to go out into the storm, there was just something that was calling her or calling to her powers.

She went down the stairs and through the TV-room finding Bobby asleep on the sofa infront of the TV that was showing and old classic cartoon, her hands started to spark again and before she knew it the TV was broken.

A big thunder interrupted her thoughts and she continued her way through the rest of the room and opened the back door that lead outside to the backyard.

She shivered a bit as her feet´s touched the cold wet grass and she felt the cold rain against her skin.

Higher her mind said to her she needed to get to higher grounds; she started to walk up a small hill her eye´s never leaving the sky.

Logan woke up as a big clap of thunder echoed through the hallways of the big mansion; almost as soon as he had woken up he could feel that she wasn't there beside him.

"Jubilee?" He asked and stood up. "Darlin?" He looked around the room and sniffed the air she was not there, as he looked around the room once more he saw something or somebody walking around in the garden as he got closer to the window he could then see the yellow pyjamas pants and tank top walking up the small hill and it took him less then a second to rush out of the room pressing the alarm button (that was in every room) in his way and the alarm went of waking up every resident in the mansion. He needed to get Storm up but he didn't have the time to go and get her.

Jubilee now stood at the top of the hill looking up at the sky, her breathing became faster and faster she put out her hands and they started to sparkle sending out a big plasma plast right up into the night sky. Within seconds everything went white as she was stroked by a big lightning. She could feel the energy going through her body, her blood was streaming so fast and hot that it almost felt like it was boiling. The white lightning was going around her through her, like it was trying to fill every inch of her. She opened her eye´s and looked around all she could see was the white light that was circling her.

But then memories started coming and she started to see faces and places, the faces of her parents, CynJen, her life in SoCal flashed before her eye´s, then her life on the streets the constant search for food and somewhere to sleep. Then she saw Wolverine on the cross and her helping him of it she saw her life with the X-men and then she saw him…Bastion the only face that wouldn't go away.

Logan, Scott, Bobby, Rouge, Remy, Professor Xavier, Ororo, Kurt, Warren, Jean and Hank all of the X-men that was in the X-mansion for the moment was rushing outside just in time to see the big strike of lighting striking down right into Jubilee (Literally) the shocked and wet members of the team just stood there staring as Jubilee´s feet left the ground and she was levitating looking like a human cross as the lightning went through her over and over again, it was if all the lightning in the sky was determent to get to her.

"What the hell is happening?!" Bobby yelled pulling his nightshirt closer as the almost hurricane winds came against them. "What is she doing?"

"It seems that young Jubilation´s new powers are attracting the lightning!" Beast yelled out answering Bobby´s question.

"Man cant she just attract teenage boys instead like a normal teenage girl?!"

"That's just it Bobby!" Jean yelled out over the wind. "She is not a normal teenage girl!"

"We gotta get her away from there!" Logan yelled and turned to Professor Xavier. "Ya gotta tell her to stop it Chuck!"

"I think Logan is right, I don't think Jubilee´s body can take in much more!" Hank yelled. "She´s got to stop"

"I will try but if her shields are up there is noting I can do" Xavier answered and turned to Storm. "Ororo when I give you a sign I want you to call away the lightning"

"Shouldn't I do it now?" Storm asked.

"No if she is taking in the energy, she is connected to it and to just take it away without any warning could kill her"

Jubilee was staring at the face of the man she hated more then anything in this world. Normally Jubilation Lee was not the hating kind but this man…no not man monster she couldn't help but hate him and everything he had done to her.

"Go away!" She screamed. "Leave me alone!" He just smiled at her an evil smile just as he had done before. More memories, more pain, more hate and everything at once it was too much and the dream again. She was on an operation table and they cut her open putting something in her…yeah she remembered that.

"You will never be rid of me, even if something should go wrong I will be there" She heard his voice whispered.

No!! She mentally yelled, Oh god she couldn't take this tears was running down her cheeks as she watched everything he had done to her over and over again. The beating, the torture the screams the inhuman screams, repeating over and over again, she held her hands over her head trying to scream but she just couldn't find her voice.

Jubilation? A genteel voice called, Jubilee slowly let go of her head and looked up her vision was blurry from the tears but she could feel someone in her head. She was in her head, Bastion was in her head it was not real, her breathing slowed down a bit, this was not real he was not there but someone else was.

Jubilee? The voice said again, yeah she knew the voice. She looked around searching for it´s owner. Jubilee child can you hear me?

Professor? She asked.

Yes Jubilee it's me She could see Professor Xavier now; he was standing not far from her…standing?

Your standing Jubilee said her voice shaking from crying.

We are in your mind Jubilation, you are letting me stand up Jubilee looked at him and started to calm down a little bit but suddenly Bastion was back, she could feel him standing behind her. Jubilee spend around and looked him strait in the eye. No she cried out and rushed over to Professor Xavier hugging him tight.

Take me away, I don't want be here She said, Xavier closed his arms around her and looked at the Bastion that Jubilee´s mind had created. I wanna go home

You cant run from me Bastion said. I will always be there He smiled at them and a flash of memories came before them, Jubilee didn't look she only hugged Xavier tighter but Xavier couldn't help but look at the horror that his youngest student had been through.

Make him go away Jubilee said.

Okay we will make him go away Xavier said. But first you half to break the connection with the lightning

How?

Just concentrate Jubilee did what she was told and closed her eye´s making everything around her go away but never letting go of the connection with Xavier. She started to feel the rain drops falling onto her face again and when she opened her eye´s she could both see and feel the lightning going back to the sky and she fell slowly to the ground.

The X-men was still watching the amazing show infront of them as Professor Xavier suddenly yelled out a load

"Now!"

Storm´s eye´s turned completely white as she lifted from the ground commanding the lightning to move away from Jubilee and back up in the sky where it belonged, as Storm came back down to the ground they could see how Jubilee fell in slow-motion to the ground. The X-men didn't think twice before heading over to her.

"Jubilee?" Logan asked as he knelled beside her taking her into his lap. "Darlin can you hear me?" Jubilee slowly opened her eye´s looking into to Logan´s, her body hadn't hurt a bit as the lightning had gone through her all the physical pain had gone away but on the other hand the mental pain was about ten times worse now. Jubilee closed her eye´s and let the darkness come to her as she drifted of to sleep.

**_Yeah I know I know but I was in a hurry so just deal, explanation for the power and lightning stuff in chapter 5._**


	5. 5

Part 5.

The cramp was back and she couldn't close her eye´s without the horrible visions coming to her. After her interaction with the lightning the pain had gone away but only for a little wail as the electricity that was left in her slowly left her body the cramps had returned. They had decided that they wouldn't leave her alone until the had figured out what was wrong with her so the X-men was taking turn watching over her so that she wouldn't wander of again. Right now it was Bobby who was with her, she like it when Bobby was there he was the only one that wasn't afraid to make her laugh.

Wail Bobby was telling her another of his jokes Jean, Scott, Logan, Hank, Remy and the Professor were in the med-lab.

"What happened out there?" Logan asked. "How could she do that?"

"What was she doing out there?" Scott asked right after.

"Scott, Logan Hank can only answer one question at the time" Jean told them and turned towards the big blue furry man. "Hank?"

"Well I can not tell you that I am absolutely sure but Jubilee´s new powers is created when she is using her regular powers along with her telepathic ones which she have always had they have just not shown themselves" Hank said and paused for a second before continuing.

"So my guess is that Jubilee´s powers have always been this way during a storm"

"But she has never done anything like this before" Jean said. "Not that we know of anyway"

"She couldn't feel it as much as she does now, because of the way her plasma plast have interacted with her lateen psychical powers she could feel it and did what her powers wanted"

"Which is?" Remy asked.

"Getting more power" Hank answered with a sigh.

"I believe that Hank is correct" Professor Xavier said after a few moments of silence. "Her powers…" He began but was interrupted as Bobby rushed into the room.

"You guys gotta come and see this" He told them before heading back to Jubilee´s room with the X-men close behind. As they entered the room they where meet by a flying book that had a low shimmering multicolored light around it. In the middle of the room Jubilee was sitting on the floor directing the book by moving her hands to the direction she wanted it to go.

"Oh my God" Jean said and Jubilee turned to look at them.

"I know how to do it now, its easy" she told them as she stood up and lowered the book and put it back on its place.

"I just send out a paff and it just happened" She said. "Well the first book exploded like normal but then I tried again" She said and looked down on a pail of ashes at the end of the bed.

"And the second time?" Scott asked.

"I just concentrated harder" She answered as Logan went over to her and started to lead her back to the bed.

"You should be resting" He told her as he pulled the cover over her.

"Yeah I know but I can't if I don't have horrible pains I have nightmares." She said and laid back down, mostly because Logan was pushing her down and she didn't have the power to fight back. Jubilee sighed and looked at the people in the room.

"I think he did this to me" She spoke.

"Who?" Logan asked even though he knew who she meant.

"Bastion, when I was out there I saw…well it was if my memory was much I don't know… clearer? I know it sounds stupid but I could see and feel it like I was there again, I could remember all the things that my mind had suppressed" Professor Xavier studied her remembering what he had seen when he had entered her mind.

"Its not wearied at all, tell me what is the first memory that you saw?" He asked her, all the X-men turned to look at the Professor not understanding why he had asked something like that. Jubilee lowered her head and looked down at her hands.

"It was when he and another doctor or something was performing an operation on me" She begun.

"And you are sure they did this?" The Professor asked. "When you were out there your memories could have been…"

"No I´m sure, I was awake he was cutting me open alive and don't think I got any pain killers…I guess that's why I suppressed it the pain was just too much" Jubilee answered and she could practically hear the reaction that went trough the room.

"Well if he did do and operation on you it is very possible that he placed something in you in case…" Hank said as he had started to look her over (again).

"Something would go wrong" Jubilee finished for him. "And it did… I got away"

"If he did do or placed something inside of Jubilee wouldn't it have shown up on the x-rays we took right after she got back?" Scott asked.

"Not necessarily we only did a normal x-ray on her, he could easily have hidden it from it" Hank answered. "We should use the Shi´ar technology it should be able to detect if anything has been implanted into Jubilation"

"Don't talk about me like I aint here" A small voice said from the bed. "I´m tiered and my head hurts" Jubilee said and snuggled closer to Wolverine.

"Yes we understand that honey but the sooner we get the x-rays the sooner we can see what is wrong with you" Jean said and took her hand I hers. "I promise it will only take a second" Jubilee looked down at Jean´s hand and laid back agents Logan´s arm then she slowly nodded her head.

30 Minutes Later.

Jubilee was sitting in Logan´s lap in the med-lab looking at Jean and Hank as they studied the newly taken x-rays, body part by body part. To be honest the idea of Bastion putting something inside of her really freaked her out, still after one year since OZT he still continued to torture her. Hated him, no she more then hated him there weren't any words for the hate that she felt against him and not just for the things he had done to her but for every evil thing he had ever done. If she ever saw him again she wouldn't hesitate to kill him not for second, not that she would ever tell the X-men that after all their first rule was to not kill.

And although it did stand for everything she had been taught she would kill.

"I think we got it" Jean´s voice suddenly said interrupting her toughs. "Look right here" She said and pointed to a x-ray of Jubilee´s belly and a point that looked like it was right bellow her bellybutton.

"Yes" Hank said. "It looks like some kind of metal plate, it cant be more then a few centimeters long"

"Is that's what is making me sick?" Jubilee asked. "That little thing is making me hurt this much?"

"Sometimes my dear the smallest thing can also be the most powerful" Hank said. "I think that it should be pretty easy to take it out, it is placed just under your skin but still deep enough so that you wouldn't be able to feel it"

"I think we should do it right away" A voice said from the door, they turned around to see Professor Xavier in the doorway.

"Right now?" Jubilee asked. "You are gonna cut me open at 4: am?" She turned to lock at Hank. "Is that safe?"

"I agree with the Professor, we should get it out of you as soon as possible" Hank said.

"But you have been up almost all night" Jubilee protested, she already hated the idea of being cut open but at 4: am by two people (although she did trust them with her life) they had been up almost all night and she had seen what mistakes that could be made by a to tired doctor.

"Jubilation we half to do this what it if would get worse Jean and I wouldn't do it if we didn't think that we could" Hank said, The Professor nodded agreeing with Hank.

"Hank, Jean prepare for the operation and I will go and tell the others" He said and then looked at Jubilee. "They are really worried about you" and with that he left the room with Jean and Hank right after him on their way to prepare for the operation.

"Well thank you for asking for my opinion!" Jubilee called after them. "I mean I´m only the one that is going to be operated on!"

"Jubilation" Logan said she looked up at him.

"What?" She asked not losing her attitude.

"Sometimes you just half to trust that we know what is best for ye" He told her.

"My father use to say that to, when there was something they wanted me to do and I didn't wanna do it"

"Like what?" Logan asked.

"Like the tennis lessons, riding lessons, piano lessons and the princess lessons" She rambled up. "Oh and the gymnastic lessons although I liked them that was a compromise actually my mother wanted me to do ballet and I wanted to do camp sports" Logan sighed and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

"This is the best thing to do, know come on" He said and stood up still holding her so that wouldn't half to walk.

15 Minutes later.

"Okay Jubilee I want you to count backwards from one hundred" Jean said to Jubilee who was lying down on the operation table, she turned her head and looked out on the X-men who was looking in through the window that was between them and the operating room. Then she looked back at Jean.

"100, 99, 98, 97, 96, 95…94…..93…..92………91………….90…………….."

"She's out" Jean said and looked at Hank. "Lets get this done"

**_Yeah I know not my best….I will try to do better. _**


	6. 6

Part 6.

Jubilee opened her eye´s and sat up, she looked around and blinked, Where the hell am I she thought and stood up. She was in a place she had never seen before although it felt familiar, on her left there was a beach with white sand and the bluest ocean she had ever seen, and on her right there was a beautiful flower garden filled with all her favorites' flowers.

She closed her eye´s and took a deep breath smelling the sweetness of the flowers and the freshness of the ocean, she opened her eye´s again and looked down at what she was wearing, it was a long white dress that felt like silk to her body but it wasn't and she couldn't hardly feel that she had it on.

"Where am I?" She asked out load but with a smile on her face, everything here was so peaceful so beautiful. Suddenly she heard a laugh a child's laugh; she turned around saw a little girl with long black hair and blue eye's. She was dressed in a pink summer dress and her hair was pulled back slightly with a pink silk band that matched her dress.

"Who are you?" Jubilee asked.

You know who I am and you know this place you created it The little girl answered. You have just forgotten about us Jubilee smiled at the girl, why was it so hard to remember?

"What´s your name?" Jubilee asked her.

I´m Jubilation The girl answered smiling back at her.

"Buts that's my name"

No I´m the one you used to be, your Jubilee you wanted to be called that but no one called you that until you started living on the streets, that's the new you and I´m the old you The girl answered. Come The little Jubilation offered her hand to the elder Jubilee took it. They went inside the garden until they reached a small waterfall with silver sparkling water almost dancing down from it.

You used to come here all the time when you were younger, you hated it whenever someone was yelling at you which was a lot Little Jubilation said and sat down.

They would always yell at you and you just…

"I just wanted to be me" Jubilee said and sat down.

Yes and so you made a place…

"Where I could be me, where I could forget all my problems, where I could hide" Jubilee looked down at the younger version of herself. "But why am I here now?"

To say goodbye

"To who?"

To me, to the past Jubilee looked around and then back at her younger self. She wanted to leave the past behind, all of it…..Bastion! Jubilee fell back slightly as she heard the name. Bastion!

"Why are you calling for him?" Jubilee asked

You need to face him

"No!" Jubilee stood up, the silver water in the waterfall started to turn into hot lava and the grass under her became dead and gray. She started to run she could fill him coming closer and closer and… she felt someone grab her, she didn't wanna turn around but she did. Feeling the old fears coming back to her.

"You cant get away from me mutant" He spoke. "I will destroy you" Jubilee felt a tear going down her face as the evil laughter field the once so beautiful place.

**In the mansion. **

"I have it" Hank said as he removed the small chip placing it in a small box.

"Good now lets stitch her up" Jean said and gave Hank what he needed. "I just want it all to be over"

"As do I my friend, as do I" Hank answered.

Outside the operation-room the rest of the X-men stood looking in at the whole thing thru a glass window. Feeling a bit relief as they saw Hank taking out the chip and stitching her up.

"I´m gonna go an get some coffee, somebody else want?" Bobby sighed with relief.

"Yeah sure" Was the response he got from most of the other members, Bobby was just about to leave when the monitor that Jubilee was hocked up to stopped making the sound of small beeps and replaced it with a very long one.

"Hank?!" Jean asked.

"Her heart has stopped!"

"O my good!" The other members of the X-men watched helplessly as Jean and Hank were trying to bring their firecracker back to life.

**In Jubilee´s mind**

"You are mine and I am going to hunt you for the rest of your miserable life!" Jubilee was chained to a wall, the chains were burning her skin and Bastion kept hitting her over and over again just like he had done before.

Jubilee could feel the taste of her blood and feel it running down her nose.

It was like he had put all the pain she had felt her whole life in to just one of his hands and every time he slapped her she was forced to relive it all over again.

The pain of never being good enough, the pain of finding her parents murdered the pain of being all alone on the streets, the pain of seeing her friends die and all the pain he had cost her…all at once it was too much.

Make him stop! A small voice yelled at her, she looked up and saw Jubilation standing just a few steps behind Bastion. You can make him stop! You half to make him stop!"

"Why?"

Because you have people who love you for whom you are! They love the person who you wanted to be and become

**Outside at the operation-room **

"Jubilee!" Logan yelled as Warren and Scott tried to hold him back.

"Logan you can't go in there!" Scott screamed at him. "Let Hank and Jean do their job!"

"The hell I can't! She is dying!! My girl is dying"

"I know!" Scott said with a thick throat and realist him. "Let him go" Warren did what he was told and realist him as well. Logan rushed into the room at the same time as Beast was about to declare Jubilee dead.

"No!" Logan went over to her. "Don't you dear die on me! Ye hear don't ya dare!" A silent beep could still be heard in the room.

"Logan…" Jean said and put a hand on his shoulder.

"No she is not gone, she can't go!"

**In Jubilee´s mind.**

They love you let go of the past! You can't change what has been but you can let it go!

"Jubilee! Another voice was heard. "Come back to me"

"Wolvie?"

Listen to me! You are still gonna have nightmares and you are always going to remember but you can't let him take over your life, don't let him take you…then he will win Jubilee looked at her younger self and then at Bastion who stood before her.

"Jubilee come back to me I need you…I…I can't live without you" She heard Logan´s voice plead, but as Bastion came closer to her Logan´s voice faded away, she couldn't hear it she wanted to hear him, she didn't want to leave him…

"I hate you!" She said out loud and looked Bastion strait in the eye. "I hate you!! I wanna go back!! Let me go!!" She slowly stood up so that she could face him, she could hear Logan´s plead again. If there was something she never could bare herself to do was to hurt Logan.

"This is my mind and I don't want you in it!" The chains that had been holding her and burning her skin started to disappeared, then she could feel a small hand grabbing hers she looked down and saw her younger self smiling at her.

I knew you could save us, now make him go away Jubilee smiled back then she looked up back at Bastion still smiling, she raised her free hand and unleashed a white sparkling light that surrounded them and started spreading all over the garden and the ocean.

"What am I doing?" She asked Jubilation.

Your healing Was her answer, Jubilee looked around continuing to spread the light around her until she had restored everything to what it once was. She looked up one last time at Bastion still with her smile.

"Ya know she is right" She said and nodded towards the little girl by her side. "You are always going to be here and in my nightmares you´re a part of me…but that doesn't mean you half to be a big part" She said and reached forward to touch him.

The white light went around him and thru him until all that was left was a black rose.

"And that is always gonna be there right?" Jubilee asked.

Yes but he wont grow, we wont let him Jubilee kneeled down and hugged her past self.

"No we won't, so now what?"

You know you can always come here if you really want to but know you are going back The little girl stepped away from her and looked up towards the sky and Jubilee did the same.

Goodbye and remember me

"I will good bye"

**Back in the operation-room**

The beep still echoed thru the empty hallways of the med-lab but now it was joined with the sound of tears falling and the sound of people hitting the cold walls in anger.

She was gone their firecracker was gone, she would never wake up again, she would never complain over her homework, she would never bug Scott for a longer curfew, she would never hug them and kiss them again, she wouldn't heal them no more.

Logan refused to leave her side he held her close rocking her back and forward stroking her hair. Jean stood in the arms of Scott both of them crying, the rest of the X-men slowly entered to the small room.

Small parts of them still wanting her to be alive, no one knew what had happened the operation had been simple and it had gone so well then her heart had just stopped……

Logan hugged her closer, why didn't he listen to her when she said she didn't want to have the operation,Sometimes you half to trust that we know what is best for you he had said and she had, she had trusted them and now she was dead, his beloved girl was gone…

Hank went over and turned of the monitor making the beep stop now you could only hear the tears and pain of the people in the room.

Don't cry I´m still here A small voice said in their heads, they all looked up even Logan. I´m right here Then suddenly the lifeless body in Logan´s arms took a deep breath and her eye´s flew open giving him a smile. Then her head turned towards the rest of the X-men still with her smile.

I´m not leaving yet She said in their heads. Your stuck with me…so just deal Logan looked down at her and smiled right back at her before he pulled her into a tight hug.

"I won't leave you" She whispered in his ear. "I love you"

"I love you to darlin" He said back. "More then you'll ever know" Her smile grew even bigger if that was possible, then she felt a hand on her shoulder she turned around and saw Jean and Scott, Logan realist her enough so that Jean could hug her.

They all love you just the way you are She heard her younger self say. And yes that includes Scott even though your bad at fallowing his orders……and you love them all of them Jubilee felt a tear running down her face and as Jean let her go she turned to Scott and hugged him. She loved them all every single one of them.

**Five Days Later.**

The sun was shining bright and the sky was blue, Jubilee was sitting in the grass letting the sun shin down on her and the cold breeze go thru her hair. She was wearing a blue tight summer dress…yes she was wearing a dress! She looked out over the green hills of the Xavier estate, sighing happily she loved this place, she loved her home.

"Jubilee?" She looked up and saw Bobby and Kurt.

"Hey" She said.

"The foods ready" Bobby said. "Scott and Hank has only burned half the burgers this time" He smiled down at her and offered her his hand which she took.

"But don't worry mein freuend Logan saved the stakes" Kurt said and smiled. "Now come on" He said and put his arms around her and Bobby and a few seconds later they were at the outside dining table. Jubilee took her place between Logan and Warren.

"Ya feelin okay darlin?" Logan asked looking down at her with concern in his eye´s.

"Yeah I´m fine" Jubilee answered and smiled at him.

"Ya know ye did die five days ago……are you really…"

"Wolvie I´m fine and yes I was dead…but only technically"

"Yeah only technically, but don't ye ever think about doin that to me again, you scared the hell out of me"

"Really I scared the hell out of you?" Jubilee asked.

"Hey watch your mouth!"

"Sorry" Jubilee said and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "Ya know its really hard to picture the mighty Wolverine scared"

"Well I was deal" He said and smiled at her before digging in to his stake.

Jubilee looked around the table at the people their, she meet Professor Xavier´s eye´s and smiled at him he returned the smile. Then there was a loud noise coming from the grill they all turned around to see a black faced Scott with a hamburger on his head and grease covered Best and it didn't take long before the laughter broke out. Jubilee laugh to and that was something she hadn't done in a wail, for the first time in a long time everything felt just right.

"Hey" She suddenly said to Logan. "There is one thing you could let me do to make me feel better"

"Oh yeah and what´s that?" Logan asked.

"You could let me ride your motorcycle?"

"Oh no way in hell kid" He answered. "I like my bike, I don't want it broken"

"Oh come on Wolvie please, pleeeeaaaasssseeeee" She begged. "I promise that I will not die for a whole year" She said, Logan smiled and looked down at her giving her a kiss on her forehead.

"Fine we will take a ride down to Harry´s later tonight" He agreed. "But don't tell One Eye"

"I won't thank you Wolvie" She said and returned to her meal.

She slowly looked up and around the table smiling at the people whom were sitting there.

Okay so they weren't perfect but who was? She didn't care anyway, she loved them and they loved her and that was all she needed to know.

She was home, she was safe and she was happy being here with the X-men.

Her family.

**Young girl, don't cry**

**I'll be right here when your world starts to fall**

**Young girl, it's all right**

**Your tears will dry, you'll soon be free to fly**

**When you're safe inside your room you tend to dream**

**Of a place where nothing's harder than it seems**

**No one ever wants or bothers to explain**

**Of the heartache life can bring and what it means**

**When there's no one else**

**Look inside yourself**

**Like your oldest friend**

**Just trust the voice within**

**Then you'll find the strength**

**That will guide your way**

**You'll learn to begin**

**To trust the voice within**

**Young girl, don't hide**

**You'll never change if you just run away**

**Young girl, just hold tight**

**Soon you're gonna see your brighter day**

**Now in a world where innocence is quickly claimed**

**It's so hard to stand your ground when you're so afraid**

**No one reaches out a hand for you to hold**

**When you look outside look inside to your soul**

**When there's no one else**

**Look inside yourself**

**Like your oldest friend**

**Just trust the voice within**

**Then you'll find the strength**

**That will guide your way**

**If you will learn to begin**

**To trust the voice within**

**Yeah...**

**Life is a journey**

**It can take you anywhere you choose to go**

**As long as you're learning**

**You'll find all you'll ever need to know**

**(Be strong)**

**You'll break it**

**(Hold on)**

**You'll make it**

**Just don't go forsaken me God**

**(No one can tell you what you can do)**

**No one can stop you**

**You know that I'm talking to you**

**Chorus:**

**When there's no one else**

**Look inside yourself**

**Like your oldest friend**

**Just trust the voice within**

**Then you'll find the strength**

**That will guide your way**

**If you will learn to begin**

**To trust the voice within**

**Young girl don't cry**

**I'll be right here when your world starts to fall**

**_Yeah well I guess that was that……not the best but hey I never claimed to be the best either so like just deal) And hey check out some of my other story's to) Love ya all. I´m also thinking about making a sequel but I´m not sure yet._**


End file.
